Though my parents divorced when I was only two years old, I still can remember crying and screaming for my Daddy. He didn't come around much but when he did I I forgot everything bad I had seen or been told about him. I had a bond with that man, regardless of his addiction problems or the fact that he always broke his promises to me.
As I grew older, my heart broke not having a Daddy around, seeing other people that had that made me jealous and I could never understand why it was the way it was. Really I still don't. Though having children of my own now, I do see how I grew such a strong bond in that short two years of my life. I have a two year old, and he most definitely has a bond with Daddy and I. He sometimes acts as though there is some kind of invisible umbilical cord attaching us.
A couple months ago, I found out through the grapevine that that Dad of mine, the long lost one, that I hadn't seen in 8 years and before then a very long time...had cancer. I had about a million different emotions. I didn't know what to think or even do. At some point I got his phone number and after a lot of crying, and hesitation I decided to call. Man, am I glad I called that day. The man I remember as a child, the funny, kind-hearted, loving, sarcastic, laid back man, was the one I heard over the phone. By the grace of God, he has been clean for 8 years now and knows the loving, forgiving God I know. What a relief.
Though, I know he is dying of cancer and this relationship we have here on earth will be coming to end, I am so grateful for the time that I do have even if it's mostly over the phone.
He got to fly here a couple months ago and my kids fell in love with that same man I saw. It melted and broke my heart all at the same time. We have more in common than I would have ever known. I can see my roots, my kids can see those roots.
Today I am thankful for that second chance at a relationship with my Dad.