We woke up with snow today. I know it may not seem like any big deal to most. But it's Texas, and this is the second time this season! But mostly I am thinking about it because it reminded Sean of a time when we were kids, just best friends, and we got snowed in at his house. I ended up having to stay the night because it was so bad(for Texas anyway). We had fun, we played in the snow, walked to the grocery store nearby, and wrestled and made fun memories. Apparently I didn't know that he was very frustrated and wished we were more than friends at that time. :) Snowed in together, staying the night together. It kind of makes me laugh now. But it made me realize the answer to that one question he keeps acting.
Why would you stay with me.. through all this?
Stuff a lot of people keep quiet and don't move past.
I am sure most of the time it seems I haven't moved past most of it. I am hurt. And sometimes really angry.
There is just that part of me that can't give up. It's the part of me that loves being married to my best friend. He's my best friend. He was there for me when everyone else walked out. I will be forever grateful for the four amazing kids he's given me and the life he's working so hard to create for our family. So though we have been through hell and back. I wouldn't change it for the world. I know this means we have great things in store for us for not giving up when the going got rough.
No one ever said marriage was easy. And if they did, they were lying. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. So I will continue to try my hardest to water this grass called marriage and throw out the weeds, and fertilize, and water it. I will do my darnedest to make sure it's nourished, so it grows full and healthy. Sometimes it may be covered in weeds but other times it's green and beautiful. We will make it through the seasons. I CHOOSE to make it through. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to live without my very best friend by my side.
So right now we have some de weeding and some serious fertilizing to do in our marriage. That's the season we are in.
That is where we are right now.
I put a couple things up in the office to remind me of some good memories. I need to do a lot more but it's a start. And everything has to start...
Posting over at http://awesomelyawake.com/project-52-start-where-you-are/